A dance we dance
You and me
Me and you ..
On this invisible tune of distance that you hold.
I try to pull, you push
I pull, you push
Like this you are always ahead!
Me, away..
You have this Aura of vacuum
That my anklets fail to crack
Deaf you are to them and blind to me
But I know, deep inside
You know,
And oh so stringently that tune you hold
Have ye, no mercy ?
Have ye, no kindness?
On this heart of a flower offered at thy feet ?
When I asked, what is Love?
He said,
It is the Gravity that anchors,
Its that soothing hug of warmth,
from the sun
The calm night with rains
The breeze of the sea.
And sometimes the winds in the
trees.
It is plain and yet complex too
Bring joy and sorrow too
It can be found every where
It is found in the stories we
hear
In the giggles and in doodles
In battles and in wars too
In that extra roti that maa
serves and concern that papa holds
in the folds of old books
the comforting hug
the knowing smile.
that gentle touch !
the Eyes.. what can I say
in your Eyes.
Love is everywhere
Only if we could bind it with
words.
Sadly, love doesn’t work like
that
Love cannot be pushed or pulled
Or squashed to fit into a box..
Love includes affection, care
and compassion and something more
Love is acceptance
Love is love
Love is what you make of it !
When he asked, if I wanted
more of an explanation?
I nodded a no…
I didn’t understand a word
he said..
But in him, I saw a
glimpse,
A glimpse of what he meant
to say.
(I saw a battle today and this is what flowed)
Colours I saw today
Colours of red and purple
Colours of red against purple
Engulfed by the brown and the blues.
Battle plans drawn
Bow’s strung
Swords awaiting
Fire lit, Everything ablaze
waiting..
Awaiting, as the unconcerned hour arrives
Battle conches blown
The arrows finding its home, The swords its mates, The fire
soothing
And the red.. overpowering it all.. the browns, the blue
and the purple.. the passionate red flows.
Compassion lost
Again, we go through the same, The flowing of red
Breaking of hearts, empty homes, worse empty souls..
Ashes remain and seeds of hatred sown!
Why do we make such an investment, I question
Why do we make it?
When the costs are so high
The costs are so high, don’t you see?
Don’t Drown me in oceans, when a drop is all, I ask
for
Don’t build me castles when comfort is soaking my
feet in the sand
Don’t burn cities for what I requested was a Match!
Don’t break sails, all I wanted was to catch a
breath!
Don’t put distance, when space is what I need.
Don’t promise me eternity when “now” was the price
agreed upon.
What
is the worst kind of death that a person can face?
Don’t
tell me death itself is worse. I don’t believe so. Death makes things beautiful;
she makes us more aware, makes us understand the value of time that we have…
this I would say is for another day!
Now
coming back to the topic in hand, what do you think is the worse form of death?
Cancer?
Hearth attack? Death by torture? Accident? Or just plain old shot to the head?
Albeit
being painful, all the above-mentioned forms I would say are a blessing. Now,
you would think I’m inconsiderate to the sufferings of the above. I would say
suffering is a choice. You might be hurt but, do you want to suffer with it? That
becomes the most important question we fail to ask ourselves.
The
worse from of death I believe is by making a person believe that his/her life
has no value anymore. Taking away everything they love, pushing them to the
brink, and blaming them for choosing from a platter of rope, sleeping pills or
blade.
Suicide,
yes you heard it right. Now, don’t start telling me it was the person’s choice.
Really? Did we give them other options? Did we see beyond their fake smiles and
perfect lies?
What
are we as a collective society doing when so many people no longer value their
lives but are miserably failing. How did we reach here?
It
all begins with not paying attention to yourselves, your surroundings, your family and your
friends. We are all just too wrapped up in ourselves that anything outside the
jurisdiction of “ours” we just don’t care. We don’t have the time neither the
patience to see as to what is right in front of us. Even when we see, we see it
through tinted lenses, our own version of it. We are not ready to take that
extra moment, to give that extra space for the other to open up or be
vulnerable. Yes, everything material is important is life but what would all
those mean if there was no life?
With
the technology around we are so much more connected, but do we honestly communicate?
How many of us still believe crying is for the weak? How many of us have this obsession
of being right always? Being right… being strong are all boxes that we put
ourselves in. what.. do you want to exist in pieces in these boxes, when you
can live as a whole... being wind, water or whatsoever you want?
Pathetic
are those you know, who just live with their mental imbalances daily Blessed
are those who just go one step further and put an end to it or their life.
We
are always trying to fit into something... belong somewhere... but why? When we
have mother earth with us all time? Why can’t be learn to be with ourselves
first and then teach others how to handle us. Why can’t we give enough space for
all to blossom.. both a lotus and a venus plant. Yes, the two are very different,
one is a epitome of grace and the other a parasite but they both are flowers in
the end na? can’t they exist as they are?
If
we only keep wanting the lotus blooms, imagine how it would be? The same flower
every where .. gosh.. I don’t know. We are also not ready to accept anything different
from the mold because honestly, we don’t know what it is or rather how to
handle it. Fear, is the first emotion we face when encountered with the
unknown. We are not ready to give them
the space to grow and to expand and just be.. but rather want to extinguish them.
Somewhere,
some wise old man once said... what is know is a handful, what remains unknown
is like the ocean. It’s not like we haven’t seen it. But we have not paid
attention to it. There are many flowers in the world that are blooming. Aren’t you
all curious to see what they are? Yes, its scary in many ways .. the unknown. But
aren’t you tad bit curious to see how this will pan out?
It’s
a brave new world.. but do we have the patience and the love to steer through
it?
Time heals they say
But I ask, does
it?
Does it heal
your hurt or make you forget?
Does it help
you past your grief (or) just bundle it in a shallow grave?
Does it make
you see and sort your feelings (or) simply push them under the rug?
Stupid you
are, if you say time heals!
For when the
fields are ploughed and the seeds sprout
Seeds filled
with reminiscence of what you buried
Is that what
you want?
Reminiscence
of the buried!
Remember now,
as the wise told
“You shall
reap what you sow”
What have you
sown?
What have you
sown?
That is the
question we conveniently forget.
I tell you
again, time is not a miracle maker
Time is not a
healer
Time is Time
Time is Kind
It presents
unto you an opportunity to unclog and drain
It is up to
you to heal
It is up to
you to weed out the weeds and sow the right seeds!
The Crow's feet near your eyes,
The smile lines
The furrows above your brows..
Are the testimonials of the
lanes you took.
The journey you choose.
The love you gave.
And the challenges you accepted!
Each carry a story, waiting
to be unboxed
A memory to treasure
A wisdom to part with.
When we meet, don’t shy
away!
Present to me your lines!
Shower me with tales of your
lanes!
For it is I, who is blessed,
when your express..
Making mine, all that is yours
Making mine all that is
yours.
Your lines and your lanes
Become our lines and our
lane.
Enveloped by your warmth
Wearing your Jacket
On hilltop, travelling a path
That we once travelled together
I wander alone.
Now, that you have chosen rest
I set out on travels that are:
Familiar yet New
Known yet Unknown
Cherished yet saddening
Bittersweet like you
Like you..
I won’t crib about missing you
Rather, I’m grateful for those travels with you,
You..
You have given me strength, courage and curiosity
To love, explore and question.
I, now, walk a path of new with wisdom of old.
With your Jacket on my shoulders
You, by my side and many mysteries to unfold.
Grace ....
Grace is when you slip but don't fall
Or even if you fall you, it's a cushioned fall
Grace is when all the signals on your way are green
Grace is being offered water at the time of thirst
Grace is that we'll suspended vehicle that can take you through all terrains
Grace is having your favorite dessert !
Grace, are rains when wished upon
Grace is to witness a breath taking Sunset
Grace is kindness, when least expected
Grace is finding something you thought was lost
Grace is to love and being loved back
Grace is when all that is effort becomes effortless at last !
How do you console the inconsolable?
How do you
be kind to the unkind?
How do try
to make sense in this nonsense?
How do you
forgive the unforgiving?
How do you
be insane around the sane?
How do you
make visible, the invisible?
How do speak
the unspeakable?
How do you
bring joy to the joy-less?
How do you
sieve black and white from the gray?
How?
You
see the thing about porcupines is
that, they are the most adorably lovable creature, like the utmost, but you also
see where the problem is, right? “The porcuPINES”
... The pines on their back! Baam!! Any
extreme emotional situation triggers their pines to launch.
So, what do you do? You just have to be extra
careful when you love them.
What
can I say about extra careful… let’s just put it this way, you can love them
only in a certain way and that way is the way they demand, anything and everything
out of that is, the out of syllabus portions that is useless despite the
efforts. But then comes a lot question.” are you even ready to love a
porcupine? Do you know how to love one? Is there a manual you can get or some
reference point to begin from? “
Well,
only if life was that easy. You don’t know but you see, you meet a lot of
porcupines in your life, daily, who are the most wondrous creature but have
pines. In fact, you just might be one of them. Yes! You The one with pines on
your back, and the only way you know to love is to launch these pines froth.
To be
honest there is no offence regarding the pines. The pines add definition to your
life and more over it was your choice to love a porcupine*. (*PINES Included).
You knew what you were getting in to. Now,
don’t say otherwise. Following is the biggest question of all “what is love?”
What
is love? What can I say? In simple words,” hugging the porcupine right”. Yep, that’s
what you heard, “Hugging the porcupine right”, What I’m trying to say is that, now
that you have made the choice to be with a porcupine, meaning you didn’t skip
the terms and conditions that is *, but actually read it and understood what it
meant.
Because
not all days are going to be good days. Well, somedays are going to be hard,
sad and mad too, an emotional roller coaster. You just need to know, how to love
on those days too. I would suggest the Hugging right technique... just know where
the pines are not and give them the warmest tightest hug you can. That’s it! In
my shallow heart I know it will work.
When death comes
I would like to meet her old
Not like the age but like old
friends
Sitting on a table and catching
up with life
She telling me all her stories
of time and me mine.
Mine you see are, well honestly
"plain"
Yet she, with open arms sipping
her whisky, listens
I go on and on with everything
I've got!
Eventually we arrive at now,
Having relived all my past and every what if that is not!
At now, Silence
In that silence, I sense
something
an understanding that my time is
up and her drink is over.
I smile nervously and she with
her kind eyes.. "it's time" she whispers.
Together We get up, hand in hand,
Clear my tab and leave.
Caught in turbulence
Suffocating on air
Everything around a whirlwind
The experience so intense
That words fail.
Then, it seeps,
Flowing freely from the cage of your eyes!
Tears.
I'm waiting
For a knock on the door, that's you
For that angry little stare of yours
For those long comforting hugs
I'm waiting
To listen to your mundane and fill you with mine
too
To have those meaningless heated discussions
To share my comfort food with you.
I'm waiting
To cuddle by your side
To read a book together
To borrow your shades, shirts and everything nice.
I'm waiting
For those dazzling drizzles, the thunderous storms, and the rainbows
For those lazy summers, warm winters, and spring blooms
For dancing ocean, adamant hilltops, and the imprisoned views.
I'm waiting to walk in silence with you.
I'm waiting for a love that's yet to arrive!
I'm waiting not yearning.
(To
express the enormity of sitting in silence with you with the help of words is
utter foolishness, yet this fool tries.)
In silence, I sit beside
you
In silence, I sit with you
No awkwardness of words in
between
In just plain silence we sit.
Engulfed by its warmth
Settled in its love
Overwhelming with
kindness
And dancing with
mischief
Silence is what we share.
Silence is that
enormity
Silence is that
darkness
That exists.
It’s irrevocably
present
And humbled by it, I
sit.
Not wanting to taint it with
words
For words are elusive, never
enough
Never enough to express
What I have to say.
Words are the ripples,
That disturbs the stillness of the lake
Words are those bright
sparkles,
Momentary breaking the
darkness of night
Words are those tiny objects in space
Words are meager, Words too loud
Words that
simply don't fit.
Word I can't find
enough!!!
So, I sit
Besides
you
Engulfed by our
silence
Absolutely flowing
in turbulence called
you.
And Be...
Just be there with you.
"How do I swim the oceans of the world?" enquired the seeker
The kind eye Saint smiled well knowing... the question dwells in all minds
Began ,
"Day and night
Black and white
Wrong and right
Blue and bright
Are dualities that exist in us.
Why do you try to swim seeker?
When you are the ocean itself."
I sit down
Conjuring every memory of you, that I hold
Every little memory from the abyss of my heart
Collecting it and placing it on my potter’s wheel
And making a pearl of each.
Small, Bright, White and Bold
With my treasured pearls of you
I sit again.. and one by one..
meticulously I string
all of them into a necklace.
A necklace of you
And, Wear it close by my heart
Real close ! Real close!
For that is all I have now
A string of pearls,
Made of you!
A Phoenix you become.
