What cut you the deepest, love?

What cut you the deepest, love?
The woe of being not daddy's princess
The screams of a silent mother
The chatter of constant abuse
Of being unwanted, unfelt and unloved
Failure or fear of failure
Assault of your trust
The lonely nights
The emptier days
The ungrateful ways
Being someone’s choice, while they your habit
Of being invisible, muted, suffocated
Helpless, helpless and helpless.
Pain is the sculptor, that chisels
So I ask
Love, What cut you the deepest?

**To the person who owns my heart**

I know, I would never suffice

An imaginary yard stick, nor measure

You, my love, are in love with a predecessor

Glimpse of her, you treasure

Search in every successor.

You try to fit the mold she left

At times with her crafty eyes

Others, with her bright light!

But in the end,

When you settle for the eyes, you missed the light

And the light never matches with the perfect eyes!!

On a crusade you went

A causality, I was never meant

Yet so spent..

I did try with kohl and charisma

With the stories you told.

But, something was amiss

The light glared my eyes.

Now wiser, I know

You set things free, you love

Doing so, I freed myself

From a mold I could never fill.

Now “capital investment" you became

My muse, to write poems and ever love

To I, I promise, not to try

To fit your mold, on another.

" MASALA MASH-UP!"

She..

She is you and she is me.

She is everyone that could ever be.

She is best known for her muted screams,

Perfect eyeliner and kajal, nobody seems.

Words could never cage her

Their face value seems,

A little less for what she means.

They are only, an ingredient of her meal

A blast of flavors, masala mash-up she squeals.

She safely screams louder in

Her silent sighs

Her defiant laughs

The flooding tears

The dancing lips

Slant of her head

Grant of her hands

The untiring legs

Her curios ears

Her cwtches, and

Many many more.

All perfectly blended

A unique flavor she is.

Don’t you just, dismiss her!

For when she writes, you’re safe

But when, at a comfy corner

She reigns, with silence

Beware, for she is

Probably plotting violence.

LIVE. LOVE. LAUGH !

Live, lets launch into by revealing the age old fact that we are  only equitably existing here! How many Homo sapiens see the charming crescent high upon the sky dotted with a diamond today? In the recipe called life chaos is the prevailing ingredient you see. We thus miss out the Lilliputian like things that assist us to contentment. Let’s take an instance, you riding a two wheeler with your brother driving. I know you ponder why use “brother” here, well I have one and can borrow him from time to time! Have you seen that brat drive – “chaos”, exactly!! Life proceeds that way you see and we settled comfortably at the back and conveniently leaning away from him. As if that is gonna  stop any prompt catastrophe lying in wait or do you think that would slow him down?? Well helloooo! Nada not gonna happen, you see he has selective hearing (deaf to you) only responds to pamper-ment and over indulgence towards him (not me). That is precisely how life rides. Like Hagrid and his motorbike! You can choose either to lean in or lean back. May be you being a feminist entity like me, demand to drive! Accelerate at your own phase! 😉.

Now when you’re tired of gossiping about your relatives you move on to the neighbor next, LOVE. See, it’s just now enough to see the crescent crystal like a lonely princess locked in the tower! It mandatory to admire the pretty sight she is. Which requires , love. The four letter work that is tired of being used and abused now. Irony warning!! With love comes its near relative kindness. (Why?? Well that’s what I have got to write.) The best expression of kindness is, it’s an unexpected gift in ruling times. Be grateful when you receive such pennies, that too from a stranger. Don’t just stop there, compete the circle by giving some.  Remember small drops makes a mighty ocean. I wonder sometimes why is it always easy to appreciate a stranger’s kindness, and not the one that we receive day to day from our own cornucopia. Yes our own goddess, “Mum”💓!! How many times have unconsciously used a tone, which she doesn’t deserve, demand duties to be performed? No wonder why God put one in every house you see, at least some one experience what he does(though worst here) . No wonder why mothers connect so easily with God. Why is it easy for us to be kind to a stranger than our near and dear? At least remember that they put up with your nonsense that anyone else. So, love them  not like  the sun, miss it only when it rains, but rather appreciate the oscillating aspects of the crescent.

 The last stop “smile”, it literally costs you nothing or is gravity holding you down? Now listen, don’t just halt at admiring the crescent. Match it with one of your own 😁. I know, Crazy right. That is the secret ingredient required to the recipe called life, the balance to the chaos. Match the pennies you get with smiles, be grateful! These little act of kindness accrues a whole lot of content. Laugh at the commodities life throws at you. Learn to catch it cool. Confuse life at its own game. Fuse laughter in each and every step. Spend some more smiles here, now! We live in a world with too many shallow souls and hollow eye. Let’s vow to breathe in some light and a sparkle of cheer into those calculative eyes! On this day, of celebration of learning, let’s learn something worth learning and not just for the sake of learning. Let’s learn to live, Love and laugh!

WICKED !!

Witches we are.

Riches we give.

Spells we make.

Hell we brake.

Tales we tell.

Songs we sing.

Rides we hitch.

Situations we stitch.

Don’t you hiss!

Say your wish.

Come here, kiss

Enjoy the bliss!!

COFFEE

Mmm.. what can I say

First love flashback on your way!

Fighting sleep, striving to fill the filter

As I sway, dancing on a familiar beat.

My brain still lazy and dazed

Stubborn, waiting for her morning kisses

As I grind the silky beans

The aroma.. now refreshing, reels

A little quenching, wheels.

The water hand in hand with the powder

Now vanish into the filter

She,  anticipating

Bub.. bub.. bubble.. they bloom together

Joy erupts as the steams rises!

As I stir a perfect cup

Refusing to diminish it with cream and milk

Raw.. black.. I adore

The first sip, morning kisses

My mind doesn't mind

Waving goodbye to haze

Dumping the lazy

Stated , she buzzes

This, for now I miss.

As you became my every meal

Plus snacks and desserts, with zeal.

You see, what happens when you love so

Accrues hurt more and more.

My tummy now sore

Each sip leads

To waves that cripple

The tickle, now cuts like a sickle.

Present, I enjoy you from ashore

In cakes, chocolates and creams.

At times when you overwhelm me

I indulge in you, always, of course

now, escorted with milk and cream

And then I flee.

THE JOY OF NOTHINGS.

The joy of nothing lies in the,

Launch of a drizzle

Cessation of a scorching sun

Swaying of the leaves

Chimes of the birds

Kiss of a cold breeze

Warmth of an early sun

Comfort of a book

Adventure of a math sum.

IN the,

Flowers that heal

A yummy meal

Dance and your unhinged squeal

Curves that you cleverly conceal.

In

Coffee, cream and chocolates,

Sass, stumbles and strength,

Laughter, love and life

Tears, tolerance and tides.

In YOU,

.. silently sharing my space,

..anchoring me ,in my haze

.. debating my opinions

..exhausting my petitions

elementally, you swiftly materializing for me !!

You are,

.. the infinitely expanding space

.. the tirelessly dancing waves

.. the mutating magnificent moon

You love are my everlasting joy of nothings

But, where lies your own???

Thirty Three, he

THE MOULD

CHOICE

Let's just blame it all on Time!

Let’s not claim

Your priorities change

And no longer in my interest range

You entangled in the world

And me too lazy to merge

You want to travel and explore

Me just read and snore

You move with grace

I with haste

You explore new flavors

I can’t betray biryani

Freedom you breathe

Independence I seek

You quick, Me quite

You effective, Me emotional.

As it happens now, we share

Few words

Few worldly wisdom

And gossip here and there

"Catch up ", we say!

But,

What happened?

How come this vacuum in between?

We ponder, yet we are

Too egoistic to accept

Too prideful to bend

Too much of hours gone,

Now, everything redrawn.

I believe I stopped because you did

And you believe the same!!

Surprise Surprise!

Ha, least on this we concur!

No one can ever win this argument

It’s such a grey area you observe.

Silently, rolling my eyes I mutter,

Let’s not break our heads

And just blame it all on time, love!

In CeLeBrAtIoN Of ArT !

The HigH

Have you ever thought how it would be to fall... To fall in love,  to fall down holding your stomach laughing, to fall from a building? Yes, from a tall tall building, The feeling of standing at the edge, experiencing the wind in hair flowing.. is flowing the word?? No no blowing I guess,  . The adrenaline rush .. the high, the uncertainty of what would happen.. The chaos and the calm.. The feeling of the first flight and the last of life ...To merge with the pull of gravity and  the vacuum later .. the bright lights and the blank .. the noise and the mute. The top questions accelerating now: will it hurt ?? Whats next ?? What happens if I survive?? Who all will cry ?? What alterations will I bring ? How many hearts am I gonna break ? Will them remember me sad or happy or rather angry  ? Will they remember me ?!?! 

 That one step, do I have the courage  To take the plunge? To swim in the unknown? To just, let it all go ? 

Here me standing .. experiencing my breath in and out, in and out, in and out. Funny! Probably the first time  I'm doing so. At far, I see an eagle fly.. fly so high.  higher and higher it climbs. Higher than the others it soared and then, all at once it took a plunge, my stomach drops, but with those humongous wings swooosh... gliding through it flew with such grace and ease .. the joy of witnessing  that  bought a realization, that at least like the eagle be smart enough to take calculated risk but not reckless, made me take a step back.. I guess it takes courage to Do that .' To step back ! ' So now I live with a high .. A high of standing at the edge and stepping back!! I know death is certain, but  not today not like this, least . We all live, only to die another day but with so much more to treasure !!

ONLY IF YOUR SHADE OF GREY MATCHES MINE TOO!!!

"Love"

It's such a strange thing . You love some one wholly or you believe to do so and above that you extrapolate that their shade matches yours until the day you see a shade more denser, richer and fuller than your shade. You realize how pale your shade is . And no matter when people say," every love is a different form of love" .. yet it is all the same .Else they wouldn't be just one word for it!  After which no matter how hard you try all you can see is the paleness of it. Also that you have seen the best version of it, you don't want to settle for anything less and that you have loved you can't stop loving, your stuck in the middle. You don't know if  you are sad or angry or mixture of both. Everything seems rational to your mind but apparently your heart always has a mind of its own. No matter what shade it is , a heart break is a heart break and causes the same pain, that they say only last for.10-20'minutes anything excess is "self inflicted", which we do a lot!  After which You go through a series of events where you want to avoid the person or the paleness they express, but you can't coz your life has been entwined with them,(or you think so ?) so much that its gonna be difficult rather to be honest, you don't want to rock the boat. Thus the paleness created only leads to more and more paleness to be created. No wonder they are so many shallow souls roaming around . Now your caught up in a circle with no  escape hatch . Lets just say, me stand on the titanic, think about whether to rock the boat or not. You all would like to point out tat it's not a boat. Duh! I know I can't rock that boat, coz the boat is not a boat but a ship! Yet I can seduce the night watch so that he misses the ice burg and thus the ship gets its punch! Ooh.. wait nowadays they don't trust humans for that !! Yet they ask me to trust a human with my heart ?! Am that crazy that I see the irony in tat !?! Definitely the expectation or the heart break in me is talking. Though the wise say not to expect, honestly its hard not too !! And again you end up in the circle you try so hard to break .Now now.. don't over think and self inflict . Lets not break our heads but only our hearts. In the name of shallowness we create and shallowness we spread . In name of LOVE .  No wonder the wise have also said ignorance is bliss, is it ?

The Bait

Promises you fake  
Words you bake  
Heart break you rake
 The circle you create
  Of vacuum and heartache
  Now lets get this straight
  Late, but at eight
  All you collect  
Will find a way in your crate!

My darling child!

Love,
 There will be days when you are an island, all alone
 Days wen you can't cope and with no hope  
Days of despair so crushing and suffocating
  Days of debating the purpose and the course.
 Days of,

fears and fumbles
   struggle and stumble  
 woe's and wobbles
  tears and tumbles
and of Heart breaks and hurdles.

  Remember these are the times, love
 When you can,
expand and explore 
  Try and triumph  
Fall and frame
 Strengthen and shape
 Lighten up And learn.
 So, no hurries Love !  
Take a breath  
And a small step  
with a pinch of humor,  
And tinge of the lunar 
  Lets conquer !!

Me and My Insanity !

With two table spoons of insanity
  me, marinating a profanity
  Fueling the chaos of sanity  
Order, discipline and clarity  
Following that hierarchy 
 Hitching your wagon to frugality  
Anxiety, the new familiarity 
  Abnormality and morality  
Spirituality and sensuality 
  Muddling me up in totality  
With so much of gravity  
Anchored casually.   
Here I sit happily  
Me and my insanity !

RE- ALIGN

The road to DeLiGhT!

Remnant of a scent !

Sleepy, the elevator I get in

Blast.. a scent prevails

And there, it begins

Is he tall or tiny

Stout or slim

Mushy or muscular

Harsh or hushed 

So, my folklore played

On and on with horses and carriages

With castles and marriages

With spoilage and cabbages

Zoned out for ages.

Few fine days later, 

At the elevator,

A pretty lady, a neighbor

Smiles, the ice breaker 

Boom like a razor

The scent ..Ooh..

Thank God for S.377 legislature! 

" ImMoRtALiTy "!

Immortality lies in the legacies.

That our fore fathers left,

The recipes our grannies kept.

In fables and fairy tales

In music, art, words and veils.

In your strength and struggles

and your tent and troubles.

Through the light and the dark

in the legacies you mark!

Fools are those who believe in the body.

For people far younger carry,

Legacies painted vivid of vary.

Inspiration they bury.

In our souls old and wary

A fire they ferry

In an attempt to make us too "legendary"! 

THE KILL.

Smiles she painted

Colours she filled!

Joy she bought,

Light she spilled.

An Ice Burst, is all she killed !!!

IF ONLY COULD SOMEONE LOVE THE LOST!

All she ever wanted was
a small pill of love.
A pill to make it full.
Full of music and colour,
Full of chaos and cheer,
Simply just, full of life!
So, pills she took.
Day by day  & hour by hour
To keep the high,
To skip the pit,
To swim the depth,
To cope the wretched,
To heat the heart,
To think and To dance.
To live a lie,
What not she did?
Only if she knew
That she scout,
was naught out!
But in confines of
The heart it sprouts!!